STYLE FOUR : THE DOLPHIN

The Dolphin personality type, like the highly evolved dolphin, is extremely friendly and intelligent. She is an avid communicator with a gift for conversation. She also understands deep and powerful
feelings. She can swim in the waters of feelings better than almost anyone else, and no matter where a conversation goes or what feelings emerge, she is always able to stay present. One of her stellar gifts is her ability to articulate the depths of emotion.

Like the dolphin who swims in the ocean but breathes air, she is a creature who must have free access to both emotion and conversation to feel like herself.

The Dolphin may achieve enormous success if her work enables her to merge her gifts of conversation and emotional depth. Oprah Winfrey is an example of a Dolphin type who has used her gifts to create an ideal path in life. Her ability to alternate between genius communicator and emotional transformative agent captivates and uplifts her audience. Another characteristic of the Dolphin personality is a tendency to feel a calling to save or rescue others, and she may become involved in animal rescue or a career path that is larger than life, allowing her to affect large numbers of people in a positive way.

Of all the personality types, the Dolphin may be prone to an on-again-off-again battle with weight and food, although she does not necessarily seem to overeat or make poor food choices. One
Dolphin type told me that she lost forty pounds without really dieting when she left an emotionally toxic situation. Her body knew when it was safe and shed the insulation that had unconsciously
formed around her when she was in an unhappy environment.


The Dolphin’s Relationship Loop
Dolphins crave relationship and intimacy. They do not feel that it is fine to go it alone—they want to share their lives and their experiences with someone they love. Once they enter a relationship,
they want and expect to make it last. The Dolphin finds it very hard to give up on a partner. Even if Dolphins are not happy, they tend to stick it out and try to do the giving, loving, and understanding
for both parties. One Dolphin I know, Helen, married young and after a few years found the relationship unfulfilling, but it did not occur to her to end the relationship. Her relationship loop looked like this:

• She attracts a dry but likeable man who is fascinated by her emotional intensity and her understanding of the feeling realm. She is socially sophisticated and funny, and her charm and loving spirit are like an open hearth that warms him. 
• They fall in love and marry. 
• During the years when they are both building careers, they get along well because they are both busy and eager to succeed. 
• She is thrilled to be with him because she finds it easy to give her whole heart and to appreciate all his good qualities. 
• Under the waterfall of her praise and encouragement, he thrives and succeeds in his business beyond their dreams. She is content to be his supporter while she handily masters her own profession and becomes quietly bored with it. 
• She returns to school, gaining more degrees and credentials to do something more with her talents and to make a greater contribution to the world. 
• She emerges from school and starts a business helping people with their emotions. Her business succeeds almost overnight, because it is in an arena in which her true talents are harnessed for the good of others. 
• Immediately, a rift opens in her marriage. She has grown in a way that changes the dynamic between them. She resolves that she will simply make due with less intimacy in the now cooling marriage. 
• When they finally discuss their relationship, it becomes clear that her husband has been thinking of divorce for some time. Although this is hurtful to hear, her emotional clarity tells her that it is right for both of them. 
• They divorce. 
• She quickly meets a new man who shares her interests in helping others. Their partnership flourishes and they marry, sharing a wonderful life together and helping countless people.

Dolphins often find themselves entering an occupation in which they help and guide others, such as therapy or life coaching. They may also be attracted to the restaurant field, as they enjoy people, conversation, socializing, and parties. They do best when they have regular access to an arena in which they can engage in public speaking, teaching, or expressing their emotional wisdom.

Often they have powerful opinions about social issues or politics, but not for the sake of power or politics per se; their touchstone is emotional truth, the empowerment of people, and the welfare of
animals. Like the dolphins of legend, reputed to lead ships away from treacherous reefs, these women are natural leaders who feel called to be of service to the world.

The Dolphin’s Dreams
Dolphins have an affinity for water, and water figures prominently in their dreams. When they are happy and fulfilled, the water in their dreams will be inviting, beautiful, and a realm of joyous celebration. When miserable, the water in their dreams will be dirty or murky, or they will dream of rivers or ponds that have run dry. On entering a new relationship, one Dolphin type, Clarisse, told me she dreamed of taking swimming lessons and diving into the pool over and over again. She felt that, at last, she had met someone whose emotional depth would enable her to express her own emotional power without the need to disguise or downplay it.

Perhaps because these women understand emotion so completely and live in that realm constantly, they attract partners who are more comfortable in the intellectual and logical planes. In the early stages of a relationship, the Dolphin can do the emotional swimming for both parties, but over time, she may begin to feel as if she is slowly dying inside. When this happens, she will dream of fish that are dying, or of an aquarium that is running dry while hapless fish shudder near death. This is her deeper mind drawing a picture of the way her spirit feels: like a fish denied water. If she chooses to stay in the relationship, she must take rapid steps to immerse herself in other emotional environments so she can experience the fluidity she requires to stay healthy and happy.

The Dolphin personality type is happiest when she is with a partner who loves conversation, as she processes many of her thoughts and feelings by verbalizing them. She also needs someone who is not afraid of big feelings, who will admire and support her adventurous spirit when it comes to oceans of emotion. One Dolphin type dreamed that she was sailing on an old-style galleon alone with her new lover. A storm came up, but together they set the sails so that the ship would not capsize or be pulled off course. She awoke from the dream feeling that she had found the one for her. The dream seemed to suggest that they could be an effective and courageous team, pitted against whatever storms life might bring. They have been able to talk through whatever challenges they’ve faced, and their mutual love of communication has allowed them to understand each other and to grow closer over time.
In dreams, the Dolphin type will often get strong signals about her emotional well-being from the weather (representing her emotional climate) or from the fate of animals and pets. When she is feeling low, she will dream of pets and animals that are suffering, neglected, or wounded. This is a signal that she should immediately turn her formidable powers of nurturing toward herself and
take action to nourish her deep-feeling nature.

Another common dream for the Dolphin is that of unkempt bathrooms and overflowing toilets. When she takes on too much for too long and does not make room for her own well-being, she will have dreams of nasty toilets, which signal that she needs to slow down and express herself more creatively. Whether or not she works as a therapist, she tends to be the informal therapist in her circle, and the toilet dreams will appear intermittently when she needs to turn her attention toward her own needs.

When she is with someone who is a good fit, she will dream of luxurious waters or glorious travel with her partner, a sign that she is connecting with someone who has an inner landscape as grand
as her own.

The Dolphin’s Intuition
The Dolphin personality type is a walking emotional radar system, and her intuition for feelings is incredibly accurate. She can spot a grieving soul at thirty paces, and she is able to speak quietly to someone on the spot and give the advice and understanding that person needs. Because she believes more is better, she may tend to overbook herself or to rescue too many abandoned animals, with the result that she can be surprised at her exhaustion. She tends to think of others far more often than of herself, and sometimes she gives herself permission to turn inward only when her feelings have been hurt.

Her intuition tends to sweep through her on the circuitry of her emotions, the best-paved highway in her system. She will simply feel when something is needed or when someone is hurting.
However, she may be too busy or be talking too much to listen to her subtler signals about what she needs for herself. When she gets out of balance, the Dolphin may start gathering things to her by shopping for things she does not need. When she realizes she does not need them, she will give them away to friends. She may eat constantly to keep herself on the move, becoming unconscious of this pattern or unaware of what she is taking in. She may also cook compulsively, taking plates of food or desserts to gatherings or constantly pressing food on others.

When she tunes into her intuition by checking in with herself, she can see visions in her mind’s eye, hear the voice of wisdom, and feel subtle nuances of knowing inside. She is incredibly sensitive
and intuitive, generous, and loving. Like water, she can flow into any shape or through any channel and she will be there when she is needed. Her weakness, though, is in letting herself get out of balance, running on empty, or neglecting her health or her personal needs for prolonged periods of time. When the Dolphin makes a habit of meditating, something at which she can excel, or of using her highly evolved consciousness to double-check her emotional findings, she can have an extraordinary life.

Suggestions for Dolphins
When you see yourself doing too much, buying too much, or eating too much, take stock. These are the signs that you are out of balance. Because emotional truth is your sacred text, you must get clear on the truth of a situation in order to know how best to deal with it.

Harness your highly evolved intuition by finding a system of meditation that suits you. If you can’t meditate, then do selfhypnosis, guided imagery, or at least practice silence during a daily walk in nature.

Practice mental telepathy with the animals in your life. You have an incredible affinity with animals; they know you have saved them and that you will do everything possible to help them. Try talking to them mind to mind and notice whether you inwardly hear a response.

When you meet a new potential mate, pay attention to your dreams. Your deeper mind is equipped to read the emotional state of others, and you will already have a sense, on some level, of whether this person is a match for you.

Do not marry someone who does not share your love of conversation. Not everyone feels as deeply as you do, but you simply must be able to have the glorious and far-ranging conversations in which you delight. It is fine if your partner enjoys listening more than talking, but it is necessary that he engage in soulful conversations with you.

In a calm period in your life, make a written plan that is your emergency course of action for your emotional well-being. This plan is what you will do to take care of yourself if you are verbally
attacked, bullied at work, or if your primary relationship dissolves.

You have plenty of power and intelligence to draw on, but if you are ever broadsided, you can tumble into the depths of your feeling nature and feel swamped for some time. The plan is your lifeboat,
and you can follow the steps to regain your equilibrium.

If you are unhappy in a relationship and have been so for a long time, give yourself permission to consider alternatives. You hate to give up on anyone, as you are innately nurturing, but sometimes you need to take a look around the corner and see what life might look like in another form. Your biggest block to finding your happy match lies in staying too long with an unhappy one.

You will be happiest with a partner who has a depth of feeling, loves good conversation, and enjoys people. (He should also be someone who will not freak out when you bring home a stray dog or cat without warning.) You need good food and good conversation at the end of a long day, and your partner should be warm enough to provide a safe haven for your boundless, loving nature.

Understanding Your Romantic Nature Is a Good Start
If you did not recognize yourself in the descriptions, then it is likely that you possess a combination of these traits.

As we grow as individuals, we tend to develop traits that balance our personalities and our ability to relate and connect with others.

The bottom line is that the more you understand your own nature, the better able you will be to recognize whether someone is a good match for you or whether, despite initial attraction, a
relationship might leave you feeling hungry, shut down, or alone. Of course, love and attraction are vital, but most people have less difficulty finding those catalysts and more difficulty understanding
how their essential nature must be allowed to flourish within a relationship for them to be happy and fulfilled.





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