STYLE THREE : THE WARRIOR PRINCESS

The Warrior Princess personality type is strong, confident, and capable. She is often a professional or a successful businesswoman and is likely at the top of her field or in a position of power.

She is often athletic and especially in early life relishes demanding sports or hobbies. She is smart and self-contained, grasping real-world situations quickly and making shrewd investments and
sound decisions. She likes relationships and sex in a straightforward way, and conquests come easily to her. She is physically and mentally strong; some envious people may speculate that she is unemotional because she tends to stride through life straight to the power center of her arena.

However, even though she is not overtly sentimental and may not seem emotional, she cares deeply
about her partner, family, and friends. She is simply tough-minded and brave, emotionally rugged, and does not easily cry or share private things.

This personality type may have been closer to her father than to her mother growing up, enjoying active sports and appreciating conversations about business or work. When she marries, this
personality type is extremely devoted to her kids and may enjoy cooking, but she is generally not hugely interested in domestic life in the traditional sense. She tends to find her career exciting
and rewarding, and she chooses hobbies that provide a thrill and a challenge.


Warrior Princesses are intellectually sharp, sure of their facts, and may be opinionated or argumentative at times. They are not angry types, but they may occasionally enjoy a good debate and tend to be confident that they are right. One young man who took his Warrior Princess girlfriend home to meet his parents was mortified when his girlfriend engaged in a heated political debate with his father at the dinner table. Later, he took her aside and whispered, “Don’t ever argue with my father like that!” Bewildered, she answered, “But I was right.” For her, the debate was not personal, and she meant no disrespect. She simply felt that her friend’s father needed to adjust his perspective.

However, she was shrewd enough to recognize that the family adored the father and that, for them, arguments were signs of disharmony and rudeness. She made a mental note of this important protocol and, in her pragmatic way, was careful to respect it in the future. One of the great strengths of this personality type (and they have many) is their ability to recognize and respect a nonnegotiable priority in their partner’s perspective and to honor those high priorities. She and her boyfriend married and have been extremely happy for thirty years.

While she is single, the Warrior Princess easily attracts partners through her athletic good looks and uncomplicated joy in sex. She may be seen as going through a lot of guys, introducing each one to her friends in her buoyant, brisk manner. But when friends see her next time and ask about her boyfriend, she will scowl for a second (because she is trying to remember who they are referring
to) and then say, “Oh, him—I’m seeing someone else now.” This rapid-fire process may bewilder those who don’t know her well, but friends soon grow used to her rhythm. That said, however,
she is not promiscuous, and she is not dating and discarding men because she is neurotic or unreasonable. Instead, this powerful personality does not seem to know herself well enough to be
able to forecast the fate of the men who pursue her, nor does she typically look beyond the surface of the men who are drawn to her. If a fellow is attractive, seems to like her, and seems nice, then she thinks, “He will probably do fine.” She is more surprised than anyone if he turns out to have some quality that she dislikes, though she will swiftly and efficiently jettison him from her life when she detects the problem.

The Warrior Princess’s Relationship Loop
One Warrior Princess I know believes she has finally found her perfect match, and it appears she is right. Before, however, she carefully scrutinized her dates and male friends, considering their good qualities, decency, and romantic skills. She would always embark on new relationships with confidence and enthusiasm, but she often found herself disappointed and surprised. Here is a typical
Warrior Princess relationship loop:

• She meets a new man who falls hard for her looks, energy, and confident no-nonsense style. 
• They quickly become an item, and she is delighted that he seems almost worshipful in his affection for her. 
• They do some serious moves, such as having holidays together at each other’s families’ home or vacationing together with mutual friends. 
• Soon, the Warrior Princess, who is a dominant personality, assumes the role of the leader in the relationship. No one says this, and no one acknowledges it; it just happens. 
• She gets a little impatient and a little critical of the man, who starts trying to please her, to bribe her, and to guess what he is doing wrong. 
• They begin to quarrel because he feels her slipping away, and it makes him angry and frightened. She feels annoyed and thinks that he is getting a little clingy. 
• He begins to ask that they talk about their relationship, to spend time being alone together more, and to ask for reassurance and comfort. 
• She begins to wonder how and why she keeps attracting weaklings and realizes this is the beginning of the end. 
• Without further ado, she breaks it off.

This personality type is brisk and certain in her decisions. Once she determines that someone does not fit her needs, he is out of the picture. She does not waste time second-guessing or looking back with regret. For Warrior Princesses, it is a baffling mystery that they seem to choose partners who need reassurance. As one Warrior Princess said, “I am so sick of all these sensitive men!”

Of all the personality types, however, when this woman falls in love and decides on a partner, she tends to stick with the relationship for the long haul and to have a relationship that thrives and is the envy of others. One of her secrets is her cool clarity and respect for her partner’s priorities, as well as her own. As one Warrior Princess told me, “I make sure that my husband gets his way on the big things that he can’t live without; and that I get the things that I need to be happy, too. We build those into our life. We never argue about his love of fishing: he needs that and so he goes. I need to travel and so we travel often. We may negotiate on some small things, make trade-offs, but the big things we let each other have. That works for us.”

The Warrior Princess’s Dreams
This personality type is not typically vulnerable and often has dreams that focus on her desire to build or create something. When she meets someone who is a good fit for her, she may begin to dream of buying a home together, or even of construction projects. She also has a number of erotic dreams about her partner, and when she falls in love, her reservoirs of sexual energy will awaken in full force. With her vast energy, sharp mind, and true heart, she brings a lot of power to the potential of a happy partnership, and she typically does not have a lot of mixed signals in her dreams. In her dreams, she views a good partner with clarity and love, while other prospects appear in a rather cold or unappetizing light.

If she is dating someone who is not a good match for her, the Warrior Princess may dream she is with someone who is somehow defective or weak. Maria dreamed of a diminutive fellow with a shrunken leg who was following her everywhere she went. When she awoke, she recognized that she had recently begun to feel that her boyfriend was, as she phrased it, “kind of lame” in the ways
that mattered to her.

Just as her clarity of judgment is strong in her daytime thinking, the Warrior Princess’s dreams tend to be unambiguous in their review of partners. Nicole, who was feeling hungry for sex, went on a date with a man who was attractive but troubled. During their date, she felt disappointed and turned off by his depressing autobiography, which was the main topic of dinner conversation. That night, Nicole dreamed that she went to have a meal in a restaurant and found that her food was covered with insects and weevils. She quickly pushed the plate away from her, disgusted.

When we eat in dreams, it often symbolizes an experience that we are trying to take in, in the hopes of enjoying it and being nourished by it. When we are offered or try to eat something that is intolerable or cannot be digested, it is the deeper mind saying, “This is not for you.” Nicole also felt that her date’s personality type was of the whining variety, which instantly bugged her.

Her rejection of the infested dinner was simple and automatic, as was her determination that this fellow was not for her. She would rather go hungry (go without sex) than have anything to do with a
dinner (a partner) riddled with traits that bugged her.

Because a Warrior Princess is not afraid to argue, negotiate hard for what she wants, or even point out mistakes, she can sometimes find herself learning surprising lessons about the sensitivities
of others. When this happens, she may dream of having hit someone or of having broken a cherished object. When she dreams of doing something she would never do in waking life, one possibility
is that her dream is exaggerating a recent incident in which she marched confidently over someone else’s feelings, focusing on being right instead of slowing down to understand. Mary dreamed of repairing a broken-down fence with her neighbor, but when she looked over at her neighbor, it was her husband on the other side of the fence. She took this dream to suggest that she and her husband
needed to mend fences. She also felt that the dream implied that being on different sides of an issue was not a problem; they could coexist on different sides of the fence and respect each other rather than trying to win a disagreement.

The Warrior Princess’s Intuition
The Warrior Princess’s personality always comes from strength, and her intuitive powers are most recognizable in connection with that strength. Ask a Warrior Princess how her family is doing, and
you will receive a swift recount of the greatness of her offspring and the achievements of her relatives. She has excellent survival and power instincts and easily senses how to position herself in
organizations so that she can succeed. Others recognize her leadership ability and appreciate her as a formidable ally and a tireless workhorse. She is wired to know how to win, and things like success
and making money are relatively easy for her. She also senses danger to her immediate family and may have flashes of warning about her mate or her children. When someone she loves is in danger, she may feel a visceral impact as if she has been punched in the gut. She also has a keen, heroic sense of timing and may actually rescue a family member or loved one at some time in her life.

Her intuition about danger and survival is infallible. When she gets a physical signal about taking a precaution or checking on someone, she should always respect and follow the signal. Her body is her strongest node of intuition, and she is attuned to her gut as well as variations in her baseline sense of well-being. The Warrior Princess has a keen sense of right and wrong, and her intuition about the care of a child or loved one may well be so accurate that others should listen to her. Mona had a son who had injured his arm so severely that the doctors felt it was necessary to amputate. This plan understandably horrified Mona, but she also felt intuitively that it was wrong and unnecessary. She brought in other experts and argued logically but with ferocity. An alternative was attempted, which worked, and the boy’s arm was saved. When a Warrior Princess feels intuitively that a course of action will work, it usually will; when she feels that some danger threatens her loved ones, she will stop at nothing to try to intervene and save them.

When it comes to social nuances, however, the Warrior Princess fails to take advantage of her excellent intuition. Her logical mind is like a powerful sword that carries her through battle, and she can miss subtle signals when she has gone too far or when her judgment has been less than compassionate. If she learns to practice meditation (which bores her), or even to tune into herself while performing household chores or exercising, she will be better able to listen to the quieter forms of her intuition. With practice, she can come to recognize softer signals of insight from her body, as
well as glimpses of insight in her mind’s eye. Despite the fact that this personality type is not a patient listener, when she learns to listen to her inner promptings, she will uncover a different kind of
power altogether, one that will enable her to love more effectively and see those she loves in a clearer light.

Suggestions for Warrior Princesses
Because others are drawn to your strength and certainty, you tend to have partners who are less outwardly powerful than yourself. Because you cannot truly respect someone you believe to be weak,
you need to learn how to assess whether your date is strong but gentle or not strong at all.

Although your intellect and judgment will take you to great heights in life, your dreams and intuition will help you to discern what is beneath the surface in your dates, lovers, and partners.

You always have a plan and a disciplined routine. Make it part of your routine to review your dreams and tune into your deeper instincts.

Trust your sense of what is right. Although you are capable of falling for someone who is not a good match for you, it is not likely to happen. If you are in love and the relationship is floundering or rocky, something is very wrong. You are hardwired for successful partnering, and if there is something significantly off track, it’s time to tune into yourself and trust what you know to be true.
When you feel something is wrong, stop telling yourself it is right. You can actually force an unsuitable match to last by sheer force of your willpower, so pay attention to your instincts. If you
are irritable, cynical, eating a lot of junk food, or feeling hard inside, then take a step back.

When you find your mate, take note of your partner’s priorities as well as your own. Put both sets of priorities at the top of your list, and use your efficiency to plan how you both can have your
mandatory requirements met. Negotiate on the smaller things, trade off, and swap favors.

Make sure not to neglect your need for friends and confidants. You may have a tendency to focus on achievement at work and family gatherings only, with the result that you have few women friends over the years. Even if you take part in a monthly dream group or make friends at the archery club, go out of your way to keep and nurture your women friends. They will keep you tuned into your intuition and your feminine instincts.

Although you are rigorously compassionate in a general fashion, you may neglect the subtler manifestations of kindness. One Warrior Princess told me, “I have always focused so much on
being right that at times I have forgotten to be kind.” Some people find you intimidating, so if you want them to open up and communicate honestly, you have to let them know it is safe to do so. Learn to switch agendas in some circumstances to discover what is going on without correcting others or directing the situation.

Look at the way your dreams parallel waking life, and take the implications of your dreams seriously; they are almost always as crisp and clear as you are.





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