WHAT IS YOUR ROMANTIC STYLE

Some people have found love by working from the inside out. They seem to understand what excites them, restores their spirit, and renews their energy. They know what they admire, respect, and need in a partner. These fortunate folks are not only clear thinkers; they are clear feelers, too, in the emotional sense. They don’t fool themselves or feel conflicted about choices in relationships. Others, who know themselves less well, tend to get into relationship loops where they attract and move through very similar romantic patterns without even recognizing it. If you can begin a relationship from a place of self-awareness and clarity, you may find that choices will come easier for you. The first step is to identify your romantic style.

In helping people decipher their relationship dreams, I have observed that women often approach romantic relationships in a particular style—one that stems from their personality and emotional
needs. Relationships tend to run aground when core needs are not met or when priorities are not shared, or at least respected. Often women do not discuss these core needs and personal styles
with their partners because the women themselves are not aware of their priorities until something interferes with them or until they feel less alive in a relationship.


There is nothing rigidly scientific about the four relationship styles I will describe in the next few pages; they are based on clusters of personality traits that present themselves in dreams, in
behaviors, and in the factors that enliven or extinguish our ability to relate.

The differences in these romantic styles can sometimes explain why one person’s delight is another person’s poison. Our priorities do change somewhat as we move through life, and many people feel that they are a blend of these styles. As you read the descriptions that follow, you may recognize your own romantic style, as well as find some pieces of the puzzle that help you understand what you need and why some objectively good partners were ultimately intolerable.


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