WHAT IS FLIRTING

Flirting… Right now this is a tough one. Flirting can mean all kinds of things, and some people will consider things to be flirting that others wouldn’t. This is another thing that really depends on the individual. As long as you know what you’re comfortable with, then you should be able to sort this out before any arguments come along. There are all sorts of different kinds of flirting; flirting
to get your own way, flirting to get some attention, flirting because you fancy someone.

First of all let’s think about what you’re going to allow yourself to do in terms of flirting now that you’re entering a committed relationship. You might believe that a bit of harmless flirting is fine as long as there are no intentions behind it, you might think flirting to get something like a free drink at a bar is fine. It’s entirely up to you but you should have a think about what you think is acceptable
for you to do. That way, if your new partner doesn’t like it, you have the choice whether to stick to your values and tell them if you can’t accept that this is how I am without getting insecure then this isn’t going to work or you can change your ways to suite your partner…your call.


Now let’s look at what you’re going to accept as okay for how your partner flirts with other people. This will often come down to how secure you are in yourself, but remember if you think it’s ok to do something, but you don’t think it’s ok when your partner does it, you need to re-think your values. If
you can work out how far or how much flirting would be acceptable for your partner to do, then you can express this to them before it actually happens and they can decide whether they accept this as fair or not. If they do, then there will be no problems as they will know their boundaries, but if they don’t accept it then this is where they will have the choice to change or to stick to how they are and put the relationship at risk. Getting these things out in the open early on in the relationship means that there are more opportunities to go your separate ways quickly, but in the long run this is far better than staying with someone who you’re not going to get along with.

You will come across all kinds of boundaries that you may not have even realised you had before you entered this new relationship. But the important thing to take away is that you should be open and honest about them as soon as you can.

In the Bedroom: Right, the juicy stuff! Personally, I don’t think forcing this into conversation
is a particularly good idea as it might get awkward and weird. If you’re sat eating a meal in a restaurant and your partner comes out with “so how rough do you like it in the sack” you’re probably going to end up spitting your food all over them. But, that depends on you as a couple because
some people are very comfortable talking about things like that and can make it fun. My suggested way would be to be vocal in the bedroom as things are happening whilst the relationship is still new. This way when things get uncomfortable for you, you can just say and your partner will start to learn
what you like and dislike. Same goes for you and finding out what makes them tick and what turns them off. Just tell them beforehand that you think it would be good if we tested to see what things each other likes in the bedroom and how far things can go. That way they will understand and hopefully be vocal about what they like and dislike too, meaning you will both be able to please each
other like crazy in no time!

If you or your partner drink alcohol, I’d like to give a warning here that this can change things in the bedroom as far as boundaries are concerned. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions so you or your partner might be ok with something whilst under the influence of alcohol but not when sober. So just remember if you did something with your partner that was a bit out there and they were drunk, they
might not like it the next time your try it. You have to bear these things in mind and always be looking to learn about your new partner, and that’s not just in the bedroom.


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