EMOTIONAL SENSATIONS VERSUS EMOTIONS

Something that confuses many people when we talk about the uncomfortable sensations that arise from deceptive brain messages is the difference between an emotional sensation and an emotion or true feeling.
Whenever we talk about emotional sensations, we are referring specifically to those feelings that are evoked by deceptive brain messages and are not based in the truth. For example, if you are feeling sad because you lost someone you care about, that is an emotion based on a real event. In all likelihood, your reaction is
what most people would experience and is proportional to the event. Thus, it is an emotion, not an emotional sensation. These kinds of emotions should not be avoided; rather, you should experience and constructively deal with them as they arise.

In contrast, if you were feeling sad because you had the thought that no one cared about you and that you were unlovable—despite evidence to the contrary, such as having good connections with a variety of loving family and friends— then your sadness would be based on a deceptive brain message. We would consider this an emotional sensation (not an emotion) that could lead you to act in a way that is not helpful to you, such as isolating from people who really do care about you, using food or substances as an escape, or engaging in another unhealthy behavior.


Throughout the book, we will use the term emotional sensation to refer to feelings that are caused by deceptive brain messages. These are the sensations we want you to focus on as you use the Four Steps because they are the ones that you need to learn how to dismiss and see as being caused by deceptive brain
messages. Ultimately, they are not true and are leading you to act in ways that are not helpful or constructive.
We will continue to discuss the difference between emotions and emotional sensations caused by deceptive brain messages and help you learn how to differentiate them. For now, keep the following distinction in mind: Emotions should be felt and constructively dealt with because they honor your true needs and your true self, whereas emotional sensations should be Relabeled and Reframed with the Four Steps because they are destructive and false, and cause you to act in ways that are not healthy or beneficial to you.

Although it is natural to want to avoid distress, seek out pleasure, or feel relief, the problem with satiating these cravings or quelling that upset is that your brain then becomes hardwired to automatically choose unhealthy behaviors to calm you down. In essence, indulging these habitual responses causes your body and brain to begin to associate something you do, avoid, seek out, or repetitively think about with temporary relief or pleasure. These actions create strong and enduring patterns (circuits) in your brain that are difficult to change without considerable effort and attention.

As this process unfolds, the deceptive brain messages occur more frequently and the uncomfortable sensations grow more intense, making it harder for you to resist them or change your behaviors.

Therefore, whenever you repeatedly do something pleasurable or avoid some kind of overtly painful sensation, your brain “learns” that these actions are a priority and generates thoughts, impulses, urges, and desires to make sure you keep doing them again and again. It does not care that the action ultimately is bad for you.

As you will learn throughout the book, what you do now and how you focus your attention influence your brain and how it is wired. This means that if you repeat the same act over and over—regardless of whether that action has a positive or negative impact on you—you make the brain circuits associated with that act stronger and more powerful. So, if you avoid something that causes you anxiety (like Ed), hide from people who love you when you are depressed (like Sarah), continually worry about others (like Abby), or drink to reduce your stress level (like Steve), your brain is going to strengthen the circuits supporting those actions—meaning that your brain will be far more likely to repeat the behavior or habit automatically whenever a similar situation arises.

You will learn more about why habits are so hard to break and the biology behind deceptive brain messages in chapters 3 and 4. For now, keep in mind the cycle Kara described: The take-home message is that deceptive brain messages lead to uncomfortable sensations (both physical and emotional) that cause you to act in automatic ways that are not beneficial to you.


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