HABITUAL RESPONSES

When someone mentions the word habit, most people think of repetitive physical actions. While those certainly are habits, we consider a larger range of responses to be habits as well. For example, if you constantly avoid a situation, person, or location because of how uncomfortable it makes you feel, you also are acting in a habitual way.

The same goes for engaging in repetitive thoughts caused by deceptive brain messages that do not lead to a solution or any forward progress. Remember Abby’s overactive “guilt machine” that caused her to worry about every little thing related to her family members and Sarah’s struggle to try to figure out solutions for interacting with her friends and coworkers? They each described repetitively thinking about and analyzing situations to try to rid themselves of the horrible sensations they were experiencing. In Abby’s case, the sensation was guilt and for Sarah it was anxiety and depression. Although the content of their deceptive brain messages and their uncomfortable emotional sensations were different, their responses and goals were the same: repetitively thinking about something for which there was no solution and desperately trying to get rid of the uncomfortable sensation caused by a deceptive brain message. (Note: Other words for repetitively thinking about something include rumination, mental compulsions , and overthinking.)


We consider overanalyzing and overthinking to be habitual responses. Therefore, when we talk about the Habit Center and habitual responses, we are referring to repetitive thoughts, actions, or inaction—anything that you do repeatedly that is caused by a deceptive brain message and takes you away from focusing on something that is beneficial to you.

Identifying Your Deceptive Brain Messages
Now that you have a sense of what deceptive brain messages are, you can begin to think about how they are negatively impacting you. Some things, like behaviors and cravings, are easier to identify because you can see or feel them physically. What is harder for many people to identify at first are the thoughts associated with specific actions.

Although it is often difficult initially to see your deceptive thoughts at the beginning, we do not want you to feel discouraged or give up. Through case stories, explanations, and exercises, we will help you recognize the kinds of deceptive, negative messages your brain sends you. The point right now is for you to start becoming aware that these deceptive messages likely are lurking in your brain. How can you begin to recognize the false, negative thoughts associated with your actions and uncomfortable sensations? One of the best ways to “see” the deceptive thoughts is to be attentive to your “negative self-talk”—those things you automatically say to yourself without awareness that are not true and that others might never even suspect were present inside your head. You may have already been exposed to the idea of such deceptive brain messages, just under a different name. Some therapists or authors might refer to them as “cognitive distortions,” “automatic thoughts,” “negative thinking,” or “scripts.” The main point is that these are the disparaging stories you tell yourself—the inaccurate explanations you give for why something is happening the way it is—that cause you to act in habitual ways that are not beneficial to you.

Often, seeing what others have described and experienced can be helpful in identifying your deceptive brain messages. On pages 16 and 17 are examples of deceptive brain messages, uncomfortable sensations, and unhealthy habitual responses we’ve heard over the years.

False Thoughts/Impulses/Urges
(i.e., Deceptive Brain Messages)
• I’m not good enough.
• I should have/I shouldn’t have.
• I’m crazy/I’m a sick person.
• I’m a bad person/I am not as good as . . .
• I don’t matter/Everyone else is more important than me.
• I will be rejected/Everyone thinks I am . . .
• There’s something wrong with me.
• I have no control.
• No one likes me/I am unlovable/I will be alone.
• All of my worth is in taking care of others.
• I don’t deserve to be happy—I deserve to suffer or be punished.
• Everyone else seems to be doing things correctly; what’s wrong with me?
• I want unrealistic or unattainable things, like always feeling “good.”
• I have a repetitive craving for something that ultimately is not beneficial to me.
• I have an urge to escape reality.

Uncomfortable Sensations
• Anxiety
• Pit in my stomach
• Butterflies
• Tightness or pounding in my chest
• Sweating
• Heart beating fast
• Excessive anger
• Heat in my chest, arms, or face
• Sadness/depression
• Fatigue
• Feeling scared/frightened
• Feeling helpless/hopeless
• Having a physical craving for something pleasurable

Habitual Responses
• Using drugs or alcohol
• Shopping/spending money I do not have
• Wasting time on things I do not need to do
• Fighting/arguing
• Compulsive sex
• Excessive eating, dieting, or purging
• Avoiding people, places, events
• Smoking
• Eating things that are not good for me
• Repeatedly checking something (e.g., e-mail, text, facts, information)
• Avoiding unpleasant (but beneficial) things like exercise
• Overthinking or overanalyzing situations, events, problems

Think about your deceptive brain messages and the cycles you go through. What are the false messages your brain sends to you and what do you do as a result of those negative messages? It could range from negative thoughts about yourself to feelings of inadequacy to the desire to escape your reality, indulging in a pleasurable craving, or something else that wastes your precious time and money. What we are getting at are the thoughts, urges, desires, and impulses that cause you to act in ways that take you away from your true goals and values.

Here are examples of how the cycle of deceptive brain messages played out for some of our patients. Read across each row to get a sense of what the person’s thoughts, sensations, and responses were. After you review these examples, we’ll have you come up with some of your own. The clear message in the examples above is that all of the people doubted themselves and their truth, could not see what was really happening, or craved something so strongly that they were unable to follow the path of their true goals and values. To deal with the uncomfortable sensations (both physical and emotional), they did something to alleviate the distress, including looking for reassurance, repeatedly apologizing, checking e-mail, avoiding a situation, using a substance to dull their senses, or indulging a craving to bring themselves momentary pleasure, such as eating sweets or fried food. In all cases, the actions were harmful to them and did not get them any closer to their true goals in life.

With this background, use the table below to figure out your pattern of deceptive brain messages, uncomfortable sensations, and habitual responses. Don’t worry about doing this perfectly or having an
all-inclusive list. This is just a jumping-off point—there will be many more opportunities along the way to refine your list. For now, just see what comes to mind. Remember: We’re trying to increase your awareness of what your brain is doing automatically, without your knowledge. For now, write down some of your deceptive thoughts, uncomfortable sensations, and what they cause you to do or avoid.




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